So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
