I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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