I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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