Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
