i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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