dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize