i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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