he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
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Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.