I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis