No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.