when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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