So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
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