I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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