don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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