wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
