remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize