Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
When are your genitals available?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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