Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.

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  (270): There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal. http://tfl.nu/1sv3
  Replies (26) Good night (4115) Bad night (830)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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  (224): I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am http://tfl.nu/o84u
  Replies (4) Good night (5067) Bad night (1204)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...

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  (715): i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend... http://tfl.nu/erib
  Replies (3) Good night (3520) Bad night (882)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.

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  (610): You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift. http://tfl.nu/nll4
  Replies (8) Good night (4135) Bad night (1218)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...

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  (609): im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school... http://tfl.nu/h356
  Replies (13) Good night (1288) Bad night (2523)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.

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  (206): I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes. http://tfl.nu/wcm6
  Replies (11) Good night (1104) Bad night (2809)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong

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  (330): he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong http://tfl.nu/36h0
  Replies (3) Good night (1050) Bad night (1818)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.

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  (405): I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed. http://tfl.nu/abj9
  Replies (7) Good night (1154) Bad night (4859)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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  (519): Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it. http://tfl.nu/tzzv
  Replies (30) Good night (3424) Bad night (914)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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  (347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (731)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.

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  (734): Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life. http://tfl.nu/3mco
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (340)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.

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  (319): I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video. http://tfl.nu/l44k
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (410)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday

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  (612): Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday http://tfl.nu/t6h3
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (326)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.

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  (608): His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples. http://tfl.nu/j4cm
  Replies (4) Good night (444) Bad night (292)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.

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  (423): He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed. http://tfl.nu/exh7
  Replies (1) Good night (261) Bad night (234)

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