He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?