Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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  (954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6
  Replies (14) Good night (2371) Bad night (1229)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands

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  (732): A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands http://tfl.nu/nukb
  Replies (37) Good night (834) Bad night (5640)
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  (628): View more from California

  i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me

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  (628): i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me http://tfl.nu/vt02
  Replies (40) Good night (2100) Bad night (4728)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

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  (318): I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away. http://tfl.nu/8l4v
  Replies (21) Good night (1351) Bad night (5449)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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  (724): i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that. http://tfl.nu/tj9k
  Replies (6) Good night (5536) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was

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  (518): you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was http://tfl.nu/ydfc
  Replies (14) Good night (4666) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.

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  (952): He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan. http://tfl.nu/7ucr
  Replies (17) Good night (836) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn

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  (931): i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn http://tfl.nu/8o33
  Replies (10) Good night (599) Bad night (1655)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.

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  (937): we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order. http://tfl.nu/a6f0
  Replies (8) Good night (1493) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.

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  (+61): It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys. http://tfl.nu/j3cl
  Replies (7) Good night (557) Bad night (1798)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog

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  (775): I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog http://tfl.nu/px0v
  Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.

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  (321): I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this. http://tfl.nu/3qlv
  Replies (11) Good night (1792) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  But he was really hot

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Glad you don't have HIV

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  (425): I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again (1-425): But he was really hot (1-425): Glad you don't have HIV http://tfl.nu/se36
  Replies (4) Good night (375) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?

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  (904): But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore? http://tfl.nu/czg8
  Replies (6) Good night (367) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.

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  (+81): I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers. http://tfl.nu/u6ab
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (179)

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