im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
grandma shit on top of the toilet
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
