; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Couch. On fire.