You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dignity is for republicans.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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