So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
