Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
