There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize