3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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