do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize