how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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