Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
