so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.