Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!