the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit