she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize