He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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