Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
