i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
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I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
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I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize