You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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