Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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