I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
