Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
