road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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