He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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