fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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