i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
