I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
