my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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