I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.