you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?