i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water