I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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