Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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