I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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