I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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