Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize