Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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