Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize