The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
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Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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