I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize