Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
