i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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